Miyamoto to use Time Travel to Prevent Zelda cd-i Games

Redmond Washington - Nintendo's Shigeru Miyamoto, is planning to use a sophisticated time travel machine to stop the Zelda cd-i games from ever happening.

"The cd-i games seemed like a good idea at the time" stated Miyamoto decked out in shiny metallic clothing. "Now we see the consequences of the games. It doesn't fit in with the timeline, the story is completely stupid, and Nintendo didn't even make it. Thanks to advances in space time travel, we have a chance to fix all that"

"Project Nova" what many assumed to be the code name for the next generation console was really an advanced time accelerator, capable of transporting a person or persons to any time in the past. The major breakthrough came after watching "Back to the Future". "Naturally we couldn't copy it exactly, but after we built the flux capacitor, we managed to create a stable portal that we can use to alter history.

Miyamoto plans to use the portal to take him back to 1994. Upon arrival, he will begin "time erasing" all references to the cd-i Zelda games. "Soon no one will remember any of these horrible games. And while I'm at it, I think I'll travel a bit further and buy Microsoft before they become a major competitor"

Miyamoto blasting the **Navi** out of a cd-i console

Many scientists are strongly objecting to Nintendo's time travel plans. "If Nintendo changes this one thing in the past, it might unravel the whole time-space continuum. Not to mention, if they buy Microsoft, there will be no more Halo 2!" The scienties then tried to get the US government involved but were dismissed as an FBI agent stated, "Time travel is impossible. This is just a marketing ploy by Nintendo to stop people from buying Halo 2"

Back at the accelerator, press gathered to watch as Miyamoto prepared to step into the past. "It's only a matter of time" Miyamoto muttered as the portal began to swirl and stabilize. "Only a matter of time"

Written by Darth Citrus

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