Ganondorf Announces Run for Presidency
In the ongoing 2004 presidential race, a new candidate has joined the ranks of the dominant leaders. Ganondorf Dragmire announced last Monday his intent to pursue the highest office of America. Ganondorf's "Better than Hyrule" campaigners were already hard at work, flooding the nation with advertisements, and airing campaign ad after ad on the TV. Ganondorf himself held press conferences all day.
His ads, rather than taking pot shots at the other candidates, simply state he's better, vote for him. With catch phrases such as, "Ganondorf. Better than Bush", "Vote Ganondorf, it's a cool name", and "Link is cool, Ganondorf's cooler" over a millon people in the first hour were convinced to vote for him.
Ganondorf's ideas about how to run the country are garnering wide acceptance. Straying away from the normal Democratic and Republican sides, Ganondorf runs as part of the "Ganondorf, Ruler of the World" party. Several of his plans for the country include changing the national currency to rupees, turning the White House into a huge floating castle, and converting the standard system of measurement to metric. A promise that is not sitting well with the other candidates.
"The Imperial system has been used by the USA forever" stated Dem. John F. Kerry. "Just changing all the road signs to kilometres will cost more than the Iraq war did!" Kerry also added, "Rupees though are probably a good idea though; whenever we're in debt all we have to do is break a few billion pots"
Ganondorf will be touring the entire United States to ensure everyone hears about him. Polls show him neck to neck, with both Bush and Kerry. Currently, Bush stands at 30%, Kerry at 34%, Ganondorf at 31%, with 2% other and 3% not sure. Due to a 3% margin of error, Ganondorf claims to be tied with Kerry at 34%
Already, calls are flooding in, congratulating Ganondorf on a "sure win" and "I want to be your future first lady". An "optimistic sign of things to come" says Ganondorf.He's is confident the American people will make the right choice for the country and vote for him.
Ganondorf does not yet have a vice-president and running partner chosen, he plans to select one from the streets next Thursday.
George W. Bush was unavailable for comment
Writen by Darth Citrus
