Clock Town Smith Inc Releases "Linksafe Security System"
Clock Town Smith Inc has released the newest and most secure security system in the world. CTS Inc. pushed its designers to the limits in designing the "Linksafe Security System"
The Linksafe Security System was designed to address the growing concerns among thousands of disgruntled people, claiming their systems "let any wazoo walk right in and take all my stuff". The Linksafe Security system is guaranteed to stop anyone from breaking in, even the Hero of Time.
"We pulled all the stops in designing this system" stated the CEO of CTS Inc. "We looked at all the flaws our competitors made with the so called "Floating Protection System". Clearly the average teenage hero could still call on the powers of the sages and break in. We believe we have successfully overcome these obstacles and many more"
"Linksafe" transforms the normal house into a complete underground fortress. Features include top of the line guards, trained to attack at the sight and smell of an intruder. The house is repositioned 50 feet underground and can only be reached by teleportation from a secret unknown dimention. Of course, metal detectors are placed at every entrance halting anyone carrying a sword.
The inside includes an instant air removal system, which can terminate an intruder in a sealed off room. The walls are insulated with the top of the line anti-magic foam, and retractable spikes are situated on all four walls.
"We've also included dispelling auras around the premises so no sage or hero can make a rainbow bridge or whatever into the house. So take it from us, no one will ever walk into your temple or dungeon and take your treasure again."
Got an intruder? We can take him. Someone breaking your pots? We'll stop him dead in his tracks. This year, don't be safe. Be Linksafe.
Written by Darth Citrus
